


Christmas morning

by kitkattz



Series: The DirkJake Winter Collection [5]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: "mistletoe belt", Dirk and Jake are 7 or 8 in this, M/M, Mistletoe, definitely the longest story in this series thus far, its all just bad dick jokes when he's involved, literally I don't know why I write Dave anymore, still innocent, terrible euphemisms for dicks, they're still young
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2015-12-21
Packaged: 2018-05-07 17:00:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5464130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitkattz/pseuds/kitkattz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A very shippy Christmas with lots of family shenanigans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Christmas morning

**Author's Note:**

> FINALLY DONE WITH SCHOOL FOR THE WINTER  
> FINALLY  
> I kinda slept all day yesterday so i apologize for not updating this until today but finals sure wear a guy out.

"Diiiiiiirrrrk!!! Get up get up get uuuup!! Its Christmas! Santa came!! Wake! Up!" Jake cries, shaking Dirk with each word. Dirk grumbles and tries to curl into the blankets until he realizes what Jake said.

He freezes for a moment and then throws off the covers, Jake tumbling to the floor with them as Dirk gets caught in the sheets and trips.

"Race ya!" He told Jake, kicking the sheets away and bolting out the door as Jake jumped to his feet to follow close behind.

"No fair!" Jake whines as he dashes along at Dirk's heels, grabbing the banister and sliding around to land in front of Dirk before dashing down the stairs. "You got a head start!"

"Early bird gets the worm, Jake!"

"I was up _first,_  you insufferable—" Jake was cut off as he tripped and went tumbling down the last three stairs and into the front room, but he was quick to fly back to his feet, scrambling to the other side of the room and slamming his hand on the wall a mere second before Dirk did.

"I win!"

Dirk rolls his eyes, and Jake opens his mouth to gloat more but he is interrupted by his grandmother.

"Hello, boys. You two are up early. What's the date again today?"

"Christmas! Its December 25th!" Dirk replies, smiling. Its not often he smiles like that, taking after his brother and all, but Christmas is definitely one of the very few exceptions to his— and Dave's —rules about being "cool".

Jade smiles brightly back at him. "Oh yes, you're right. I don't suppose you boys would like some cookies for breakfast?"

"Yes please!" Jake replies, and Dirk nods along with him as Jade's smile widens further and she chuckles at their excitement

"Alright. Milk too?" Dirk and Jake nod vigorously at the question, and Jade heads to the fridge, watching the two peer at her from just above the countertop as she reaches for the two gallon jugs. "Chocolate for Dirk, and white for Jake?"

"No gramma! I like chocolate, Dirk likes regular milk!" Jake corrects, and Jade smiles.

"Oh, I'm so forgetful! This is why I need you two and Dave around."

"Need me for what?" Dave questions, rubbing his head and consequently ruffling his hair as he turns the corner into the room.

"Well! Speak of the devil and he shall appear," Jade says, "Where is John? He's usually up before you even have a hope of being roused from your 'beauty sleep'."

"I'm here! I was getting his lazy butt out of bed!" John calls, "Give me a second, Jade, I have to pee."

Jade rolls her eyes as she snatches Dave's shades off his face when he walks by, the Strider sputtering indignantly at having his shade privileged revoked.

"For frick's sake, Dave, not on Christmas and not inside! Why do I even invite you over?"

"You don't!" Dirk chimes in. "Dave just won't have Christmas anywhere else because its a 'tradition' to annoy you on Christmas day."

"I didn't raise a snitch, kid," Dave says, staring at Dirk. The younger Strider merely shrugs, giving his older brother a snarky, shit-eating grin in reply.

"See, Dirk's taking after me," John says as he appears from around the corner. "Since you're, like, never around."

"Dave didn't raise me to be a nerd," Dirk says, and John's expression deadpans as Dirk's grin grows ever wider.

"You boys are mistaken," Jade says, "he's clearly taken after me."

When Dirk doesn't argue the statement, Dave stares down at his little brother. "What, no shitty comment now?"

"Well, its true. Jade's waaaay cooler than you guys will ever be. And so's Jake, even if he's kinda a nerd."

"I'm not a nerd!" Jake defends, kicking at Dirk.

"You're soooo a nerd!" Dirk replies, and quickly the two get into a battle of Footsie's beneath the counter.

"Man, I never thought I'd hear those words come out of my prodigy's mouth."

"What, that he knows I'm cooler than you and always will be?" Jade asks, grinning at Dave. "Someone finally caught on. Dunno how John actually ever thought you were cool, dweeb."

"I'm not a fuckin' dweeb—"

"Watch your language, Dave. I don't need Jake picking up on that!" Jade chastises as she returns to popouring milk for the two young boys.

"Yeah, yeah. Can I get a glass of apple juice? "

"You've got hands, Dave, get your juice yourself."

"Oooooh!" John calls from bbehind Davem "Want some ice for that burrrn?"

"I don't think you actually know what a burn even is, because that wasn't one," Dave says, and John rolls his eyes.

"Bring me milk, slave," he replies, laughing.

"Oh I'll bring you milk, just not in front of the kids, pervert."

"Oh my GOD Dave that's NOT what I meant!"

"Kiss me under my mistletoe belt, John. You'll get your milk as long as you eat the cookies first."

Jade interrupts the two before it can get worse, "That's enough, I think. Dirk, Jake, your cookies and milk and here!"

"Thank you gramma!" The two say in unison, racing each other to climb up onto the counter and devour the plate of cookies set out for them.

"I don't know why I bother giving them cookies when they don't actually enjoy the flavor," Jade sighs, turning to look at Dave, only to see him stuffing four cookies in his mouth at once. "I suppose that goes for three of the four of you since John doesn't like baked goods."

"I actually got you a legit present this year, Jade," Dave says after swallowing the ridiculously large lump of cookie in his mouth. "Not a gag gift this year or another set of movies. Its super awesome, you're gonna like it."

"Well. I suppose that means its time for presents, doesn't it?"


End file.
